Plane jokes
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?
A Boomerang.
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?
It's raining planes! Hallelujah!
Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...
I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.
Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.
I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.