Plane jokes
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Why were the people in the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plane.
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
A receptionist at the Twin Towers orders two pepperoni pizzas. She was upset when she got two planes.
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.