Plane

Plane jokes

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doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.

The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

Best way to trick your friends:

A brick falls out of a plane.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.

The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.

Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.

The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀