Physics jokes
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
He's fat!
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
He's dead.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
What atom presents TV shows?
David Atombrough.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.