Physics jokes
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
If I get an atom, I would split it with you.
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
He's fat!
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
He's dead.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.