A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Do you want a book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down!
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
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What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
