Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
