I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
Q: how do you know when an asian broke into your house?
A: you can ́t find your dog.
hi i.............................................................................................................. sorr y my cat t f my cat touched my computtter i dont know where how to deleete. the joe is the joke is that f if you if jj sorry its har d to type the joke is that if y if you
if you i taking a cap if you if if you take a cap off a bottle is it decaptai decapit j decapti decapitation soryr guys sorry guys its g h its a aha h h a ah ah a hard word to spell
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness (?)
my brother and i were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf, my mom cam in and started asking who knocked it over, to which i replied that i only had my shelf to blame.
heya can i axe you a question?
my brother like to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. i said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with not going to stop who? i told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
what was Steven hawking pet?
a hawk.
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
How do you know if an asain has been in your house?
Your dog's gone Your finances are done And your floaties
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Yo mama so hairy that when she go the hair solon they say no pets allow
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
Why was the dog staying in the shade? Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
One day my pet bark at me and so I got scared anWas my dad actually it was weird you should’ve saw him and so the goes on in the day because he likes to run around The house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday. Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now. But the vet charged me six quid.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room So I said “I guess she wasn’t fealine it” My dad said “you’ve got to be kitten me that was purfect” I said “literally”
