Person jokes
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
Why be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist when you can be quiet?
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
If you looked in the mirror, you would see an ugly person, which is you.
Sorry, no adults allowed.
Only 3 per person.
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.