To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
What time do Chinese people go to the dentist Tooth hurty (2:30)
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."
And then the wall fell on them.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
