A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
who crashed the plane? 1. Abu Faram?- terrorist 2. The little kid Joseph? 3. The passed out pilot?
OR JAMAL?
