Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. "See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow. The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it." "How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow. "Look at it's hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish. “I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish. “I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home. “I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here."
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
Shut the fuck up u fat bitch u always like to roast others but u cant walk up the stairs whithout passing out u fat stupid bitch and i caught you break into someones house just to steal a peace of candy fat ass bitch.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit
i made a deal with satan. i would get a free pass to hell, if i serve as a demon lord. so, see you guys at the end of times!
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
my girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a gluestick. she still isn't talking to me
Guy: Hey siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up? Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
yo mama so fat, when she passed by the tv I missed a whole season of SpongeBob
one time i was my uncle he said to me to pass him the marble in the floor all i heard is my but claping with his sasuge
Your arms are open They stretch towards me Reaching, grabbing, pulling me Surrounding me Drowning me in my helplessness Time standing still, inside here Looking through windows, time passing by Let me go, will ya
somebody told me to cheer up so....i told him to pass me a rope :)
why are orphans bad at basket ball? because no one is there for them to pass
Stephen hawking can pass any test but there’s one test cant pass it is the pacer test
What did Michael scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins the doctor said but the lady was like
The lady: ugh why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl not a boy to just a girl!!!!!!!,!
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma the man who was in labor died the two babys got a nanny a evil one the nanny killed the babys on there first birthday
who crashed the plane? 1. Abu Faram?- terrorist 2. The little kid Joseph? 3. The passed out pilot?
OR JAMAL?
Fortnite battle pass I just shit out my ass The school: you did what?
you are so poor when I pass you ask for spair change and I was poor to
