Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
why are orphans bad at basket ball? because no one is there for them to pass
Stephen hawking can pass any test but there’s one test cant pass it is the pacer test
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
Fortnite battle pass I just shit out my ass The school: you did what?
