Pass jokes
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
Fortnite battle pass, I just shit out my ass. The school: You did what?
You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
This is a placeholder. I am a joke.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
Smash or pass?
"Smash," said the iceberg.
TItanic:...
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.
Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.