Park jokes
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
My wife and I were at the park with our little princess today.
We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout, "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Rosa Parks.
Lol.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.