Park jokes
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.