Park jokes
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.