Parent jokes
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Chuck Norris drove his parents to school.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.