Parent jokes

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because there is nobody to call "daddy."

A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?

B: Because today we had a parent meetup.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

What do you call a fish with no parents?

An orfin.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?

Long sleeves.

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

Mum: Why are roses red?

Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.

Mum: I made you.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.

Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.

Kidnapper: ...

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.