Parent jokes

An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Why did the orphan take a selfie?

Because he wanted a family portrait.

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

To have someone to call "daddy!"

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

What did a man say to his boy?

You are my son.

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?

Wait... nevermind.

Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.

Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.

Kidnapper: ...

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.