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Parent jokes

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!

Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.

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    • What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.

    I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

    A teacher asked his students a math question.

    "You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

    After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

    "One dollar!" she said.

    Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

    You: Why? I don't have any.

    Why can't orphans sign up for sports?

    They have to have a parent's signature.

    Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."

    A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

    The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

    Teacher: Where were you born?

    Student: The highway.

    Teacher: What do you mean?

    Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

    When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

    Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

    Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

    Guy: "Yup"

    Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

    Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

    Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

    He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

    We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)