Parent

Parent jokes

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Batman

  • Kid: I want to be like Batman.

    Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

    Genie: I told you.

    Kid: .............................................

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    Orphan

  • The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

    The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

    The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

    The students said, "Your parents."

    The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

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    Daughter

  • When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

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    Child

  • My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

    Orphan

  • Why did the orphan cross the road?

    Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)

    Orphan

  • Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.

    Boy: Knock knock.

    Girl: ...Who's there?

    Boy: Not your parents!

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