Paradox jokes

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.

We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.

Wanna hear somethin' ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

In Soviet Russia,

You love Chinese and hate Chinese.

Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.

What am I?

Answer: a Riddle.

How do you annoy Pinocchio?

Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"

I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...

Neither have they.(:

Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.

Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.

We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.

The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

I was going to join the debating team.

... but someone talked me out of it.