Outing jokes

A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.

They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.

The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.

The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.

The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.

When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.

The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."

The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"

The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"

The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"

Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.

Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A: A pool table.

Ni tshike mbangi bcz ani zaha toilet, nikarhi Ni hlometela out side loko tiniba. Ni hlometela ndzeni ka poto.

Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.

I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.

Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!

Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.

Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.

Teacher, what do you call sex making out with a C.I.W.?

Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out of the window...

Ta kill her.

People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.

"Watch out, there's an iceberg!"

Other person: "We will be fine."

10 minutes later, drowns, says, "We will be fine."

Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?

A: He was scared the juice might come out.

What did Charizard say to Arceus? "Knife to meet you, literally. I got you out of Pokémon Sword and Shield!"

"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."

Why are fire trucks big?

To hang out with the firefighters!

What do you expect when you get out of a bar?

Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.

Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.

When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.