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Otherness jokes

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.

"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.

"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."

It's weird being an autistic eugenicist.

On one hand I want pussy and on the other hand I don't wanna pollute the white race with my genetic filth.

Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,

"Peter, Peter come to me!"

So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.

"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,

"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.

"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.

What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?

One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.

What did the other wave say to the other wave?

"Nothing, they just waved!"

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."