Otherness jokes
It's weird being an autistic eugenicist.
On one hand I want pussy and on the other hand I don't wanna pollute the white race with my genetic filth.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?
One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.
What did the other wave say to the other wave?
"Nothing, they just waved!"
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."