Orphanage jokes
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
I want to be loved.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
What does Pikachu and an orphan have in common?
Pikachu, I choose you!
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!