Orphanage jokes
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
'Cause they're family sized!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.
I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
What was the orphan's first video game console?
PS5 because it has no home button.
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
I like orphan boys, no homo.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."