Orphanage jokes
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
Dad?
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?
Because I burnt it down!
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
What do you call an orphan who became a priest?
Father-less.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.
Then I got fired from the orphanage.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.