Orphan jokes
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren't.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?
Heh, stupid orphan.
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
Orphans are banned in Alabama.
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?
Friend: But you're an orphan.
Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.