I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one.
what makes a nuke and divorce the same?
it only takes one of each to end your life.
When I see your face there's one thing I want to change The direction I'm looking
What did one butthole say to the other? I don't know WHAT got into me last night!
"Lizzie Borden took an axe And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one. "
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”
Pain. gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Deppression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing i cant have.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the cheshire cat.
whats life if you dont have one...
In India 3 things are wide and far everywhere,but no one admits racism,sexism and Sunny ka jism.
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
When your going 80KM in a school zone and one of the speed bumps scream.
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing but one sounds like a threat
If i had 10 dyno nuggies and Jamal tried to take one i would have ten dyno nuggies and Jamal's head
2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
What's the difference between twin towers and mcdonald's
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru
How are tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there!" Not Suzy.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
