"Chelsea is the most consistent team. One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October it's just like menstrual cycle. If they don't win in November, judt know that they're pregnant." đ
Your mom oh wait you don't have one
Bro the twin towers are like my grandpa and his friends one survived/ my grandpa the others have fallen/ his friends
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
We are Number one
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed , but someone died
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common, theyâre yet to be discovered.
Why do orphans like familys? because they wish they had one.
my dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls, hes the one that told me always aim for them, is that why i dont have a brother
Itâs sad some one has ligma
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
what the difference between ww2 kamikaze planes and 9/11...one of the missions succeed
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldnât see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? âIâm looking for the man who shot my paw!â
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
Whatâs red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
Whatâs the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them
Holy fucking shit Addison watersharky Gwen and all of you other cringelords I swear to god I I hear one more thing about âplease be kind no bullying on the internetâ I will actually shoot my local school. You may not know since you are only 8yrs old or whatever but the world is not kind. Itâs full of sick people out to beat others and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness itâs just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your âplease be kind âmessages to yourselves
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
One day I went to talk to my friend. "Hi John!" I said. No response. "Oh yea." I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button. "Hope that helps."
One man said "the audacity on that deaf kid."
The other man said "bro does even have audio."
