Old jokes
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"
James replied, "He's as old as me."
Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."
James then said, "He became my father when I was born."
"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!