Old jokes
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
OLD KLADYBOFSIYTFJT
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!