What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
what is the difference between a priest and mcdonalds? nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
OLD KLADYBOFSIYTFJT
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
