Offensive jokes

There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.

What is a "dad?"

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: Impatient feminist.

Friend: Impati--

Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?

Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards". It is cool.

I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.

What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...

Odin Floyd.

Stop it with the "yo mama" jokes. They are just offensive.

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?

You can't fuck a rock.

What's red and runs up your leg?

A homesick abortion.

Why do white people colonize everything?

To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

Ha, gay!

My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.

Yo momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.

Dad, why are we here?

Because you're not loved.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.

What do you call a simp, Adrian?

What do you call Kyson when he is banned on PS4?

A depressed Indian boy.