Offensive Jokes

Nice cock, bitch.

Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A vanilla shake.

Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!

Right, the bit as the bottom... i mean, look i keep myslef open on systems to rule empires and shit should i ever need to be it.

A drawing of a hydra with multiple heads. The text on the image reads: "Hydra System. The Hydra is simple, every 2 represents a 1. When a head is cut, its twin must lead the next 2 novice heads. This means when every weak point is exercised the weak spot is a new offense. The perfect system."

What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.

What do you call a man with no legs? Hangman

I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.

What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.

One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.