What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
Where is the pocket?
It is there, the pocket.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.
What's green and sticky?
... A stick.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔️
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I love still things.
I would tell a clock joke, but I don't have time.
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
