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How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.

Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.

The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"

Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."

Joke: "7 8 9" (seven eight nine), why is 8 (eight) scared of 7 (seven)?

Answer: This is because; in "7 8 9", 8 is pronounced as (ate). So because seven ate nine, eight is scared that seven would eat eight also.

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.

  • 4

    • Gf: "You are a drug."

    Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"

    Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."

    Why were the 1800s so crazy?

    Because of Hairriet Tubman.

    I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.