Now jokes
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
America get pranked lol.
Biden's penis is probably as big as the Twin Towers right now.
Oh wait...
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?
They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.
Genders are like the Twin Towers.
There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.
"Come on now, gay jokes aren't funny."
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.