Novelty jokes

One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.

Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

I invented a new word today.

Plagiarism.

I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds, and he can only do it once.

My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.