Novelty jokes

One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.

Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.

I invented a new word today.

Plagiarism.

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

Neither has he.

My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.