Novelty jokes

One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.

Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.

The happier they get, the less they see.

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

Neither has he.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.