Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Newness Jokes
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
A joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents. It's expired.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
When your plane heads for New York...
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
And Sterling has taken a dive.
That's all for financial news, back to the football.
