Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
Q: How do emo kids complement each other?
A: I like your cuts g.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Logan Taub has a BBC, Big Butt Chin!
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
Why couldn't the blonde dial 911?
She couldn't find the 11.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N