Worst Jokes Ever
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Why can’t you private text someone in a community?
Because a community has more than two people.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can go 1, 2, 3 but they can’t go home. 🤣
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!
Dark humor is like water.
Some people get it, others don't.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.