Worst Jokes Ever
I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!
I thought of you today, and it reminded me to take out the trash.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
Stop bullying orphans!
What if they tell their parents?
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
I never get off on the wrong foot.
I left my Avatar at home today.