Worst Jokes Ever

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.

What's an edible part of a wheelchair?

A vegetable!

Looks like he never charged up fully.

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?

A: He heard the snowblower coming.

Why did he die?

Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.

For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?

He blacks out.

What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.

Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.

Weedle will make you high.

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.

The Middle Ages were called the dark ages because there were too many knights.

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?

Nothing... she couldn't tell.