Worst Jokes Ever
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
Applesauce.
"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."
Hail Satan.
............
Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
His life.
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
Poopy loopy.
What are a pedophile"s shoes called?
Answer: WHITE VANS
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have no friends :'(