Worst Jokes Ever
My ex-wife still misses me...
BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.