Worst Jokes Ever
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best cum.
My life, haha, so funny!
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
I suck big weiner.
I know that my jokes are never punny but...
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
A. a PadaJuan.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
I eat ass.
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"