Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
Worst Jokes Ever
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”
The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
