What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Worst Jokes Ever
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
Batman on gender equality: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/I36ypJEyYpo
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
