Worst Jokes Ever
Life.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
Papyrus: Sans, your jokes are bad!
Sans: I don’t care; I got thick skin.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
Do you like Mirah?
Mirah-t nuts.
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
The joke is missing. Please provide the joke text.
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
The "W" in African stands for water.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.