Worst Jokes Ever
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: I don't know anymore.
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Aaron, you glad I didn't make this joke?
My mom
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Bruh.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
(l=====8