Worst Jokes Ever
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.