Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Worst Jokes Ever
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?
Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.
Stranger: Do you need a doctor?
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
