Worst Jokes Ever
Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
Do you know what's lonely?
Your lips, wanna meet mine?
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
Pizza Hut.
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.
We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!