Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Nothing, they can't talk.

Me: *in a family meeting*

Mom: Ok guys...

Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

Why can't orphans close their video games?

Because they can't find the home button.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!