Worst Jokes Ever
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree... but the tree left them hanging.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?
Sticky Minaj.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
You reload and keep shooting.
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.