Worst Jokes Ever
Imagine not having a dad.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
Me: Mrs., can I read my book?
Teacher: Sure.
Me: *watching my Chromebook*
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
Robin's gay.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I hate you.
I hate you who?
You hate me?? Rude!
My gamer tag is TheBigAut.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.