Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.
your (DYM 43)
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
what does BLM stand for?
Biden loves minors.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
I love eggs!
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
Yo mama so stupid She starved in a grocery store
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!
