Worst Jokes Ever
Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where is my tractor?"
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
in (DYM 71)
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I love you, Tina!
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
Riley....I...I think I wanna be more than friends.
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"