How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
You wanna talk Alya and JK Master?
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
your (DYM 59)
Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.
Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
